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Meet Barney | Robots Don’t Say Please (and Can’t Eat Cheese)

posted by Anthony on May 26, 2017


Barney is 8 years old and although popular at school and with his neighbours Barney longed for a brother or sister, although he really secretly would have preferred a Robot. When the TK5000s were announced Barney wrote a 5-page report explaining to his parents why they so desperately needed this Robot, and that it would count for at least two birthdays and a Christmas in way of presents.

Barney however, did not know that his father had similarly listed, albeit in bullet point form and typed up, all the reasons he thought the family needed the Robot and had given it to Barney’s mum. Barney’s mum, however, had already mentally compiled her own list of why the house needed the Robot but she didn’t tell Barney or his dad, instead, she went along with it, having been persuaded that this would be the best purchase for them all.

Barney was delighted at the arrival of Robot and between him and his dad, and mum for reading the instructions and noticing that this face was put on back to front, they managed to put Robot together in record time. 

Barney has recently been trying to teach Robot how to play chess as the app was included within the recent upgrade, but as Barney doesn’t know how to play chess either this has not been going well. Dad has been using the Robot to try and learn how to salsa dance, but as the Robot doesn’t really have hips, and always wants to lead this has been proving quite difficult. Mum has been using Robot as an impartial taste tester of her new meals that she has created, unfortunately, it took Robot a little too long to learn that impartial (and ultimately accurate responses) were not necessarily what mum was after. 

Barney loves his family and Robot and although Robot can’t fly (yet, the company that makes them are working on that) as far as Barney is concerned Robot is perfect.


You can read more about Barney and Robot in Robots Don’t Say Please (and Can’t Eat Cheese); a new children’s picture book by Lucy Keeling and Kris Smith. Robots Don’t Say Please… is released on June 1st 2017 and you can pre-order the book here.

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